Character description -- How to do it
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Balzac was the master at characterization. When a character first entered his story, he gave only a little description, leaving the rest to be filtered in as the narration continues;
Honoré de Balzac
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From Cousin Bette, Chapter One. Published in 1847
About the middle of July, 1838, one of those hackney carriages lately put into
circulation along the streets of Paris and called milords was making its way
through the Rue de l'Universite, carrying a fat man of medium height, dressed
in the uniform of a captain of the National Guard.
Among Parisians, who are thought to be so witty and wise, we may find some who
fancy they are infinitely more attractive in uniform than in their ordinary
clothes, and who attribute so depraved a taste to the fair sex that they imagine
women are favorably impressed by a bear-skin cap and military equipment.
Here we have an introduction to Monsieur Crevel, and it is quite enough to give
us a glimpse of the man and to pique our curiosity about him. As he proceeds
to his rendezvous and meets his hostess, we see more and more of him until a
complete picture emerges.
If Balzac had spent a page or two giving Monsieur Crevel's complete description
all at once, the reader would probably have skimmed down, looking for dialogue or
action.
By mixing little bits of characterization in with the action and movement of the
story, the reader remains engaged and interested in what this gentleman is up to.
In your notes, you should have a complete character sketch of each person in your story. The first few paragraphs of your story should introduce your main character. Take two of his or her features from your notes, for example, a weak chin and Pacific-blue eyes (Not green eyes. See my section on clichés) and then show what this person is doing.
Taking the opposite example, for comparison;
Lew Wallace
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Ben Hur by Lew Wallace. Published in 1880.
Tirzah was her name, and as the two looked at each other, their
resemblance was plain. Her features had the regularity of his,
and were of the same Jewish type; they had also the charm of
childish innocency of expression. Home-life and its trustful
love permitted the negligent attire in which she appeared.
A chemise buttoned upon the right shoulder, and passing loosely
over the breast and back and under the left arm, but half
concealed her person above the waist, while it left the arms
entirely nude. A girdle caught the folds of the garment, marking
the commencement of the skirt. The coiffure was very simple and
becoming--a silken cap, Tyrian-dyed; and over that a striped
scarf of the same material, beautifully embroidered, and wound
about in thin folds so as to show the shape of the head without
enlarging it; the whole finished by a tassel dropping from the
crown point of the cap. She had rings, ear and finger; anklets
and bracelets, all of gold; and around her neck there was a
collar of gold, curiously garnished with a network of delicate
chains, to which were pendants of pearl. The edges of her
eyelids were painted, and the tips of her fingers stained.
Her hair fell in two long plaits down her back. A curled lock
rested upon each cheek in front of the ear. Altogether it would
have been impossible to deny her grace, refinement, and beauty.
In those days, a reader was conditioned to expect long paragraphs with long sentences, dense with description, but I wonder if today's reader would stick with it long enough to see the beautiful Tirzah emerge.
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